Suffering in Silence
There is a woman living in one of the temporary
housing units where I minister who I have never seen cry, despite the extreme
challenges she has faced that would bring others to their knees. It is easy for some to dismiss this woman as
cold and uncaring, though I know that is not true.
Reflecting on her lack of tears, I am reminded of a
conversation two years ago with the mother of a childhood friend who had died
at the tender age of 62. As we embraced
at her daughter’s wake, this loving mother did not shed a tear. She looked at me with deeply sad eyes and in
what seemed both an apology and a plea for understanding, explained that due to
a physical condition, she was no longer able to cry – outwardly - choking
instead on the saltiness of her silent tears.
I could only imagine how that compounded her deep suffering.
Both the client with whom I work and the mother of
my childhood friend remind me that judging on outward appearance is as unfair
as it is unwise. Bravado, stony-faces,
aloofness, and airs of overconfidence – all may hide unattended suffering and
silent cries for understanding.
As we approach the Season of Advent and the joy
that this time holds for so many, may we be mindful of those who suffer, and
cry, in silence.
Kathy Flynn, OP
Sinsinawa, WI
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